Happy Birthday, Up To A Point!
TODAY WAS A DAY JUST MADE FOR GROCERY SHOPPING – COLD, RAINY, AND NOTHING FOR DINNER. It was shopping for the staples of life – meat, veggies, and 48 cans of Dr. Pepper. The stuff that augments the DNA and Stardust that makes us – us.
The Curveball of Life stopped me in my tracks as I pushed the shopping cart up and down the aisles. I seriously hit the brakes as I was passing through the Valley of the Shadow of Greeting Cards.
There are lovely cards for just about any imaginable cause for celebration. You name it and Hallmark and their competitor purveyors of sweetness and light have a card for it. What caught my attention was the display of Birthday Cards.
I saw a card to celebrate a baby’s very first birthday. I sincerely doubt that any one year old toddler could read the card or would look at as anything more than something to put into its mouth. I doubt that that card is saliva-proof.
On the rack next to that one was a progression of other age specific birthday cards. There were cards for ages 2 through 5 – for those parents who may have missed birthday #1. After that there are cards for 10 years, 20 years, 30, 40, etc. I would think that after 40 most people would just as soon forget the whole thing. No such luck.
50, 60, 70, and then a special stop at 75 years. I guess the Card People sense that the market for these cards might be dwindling so they opted to start recognizing the birthdays sooner than later.
With 5 year increments the parade marched on – 80, 85, 90, 95! Then it was time for the BIG ONE. The last stop was “Happy 100th Birthday! They were selling Birthday Cards for Centenarians! Not surprisingly it was printed in a rather large font. The number 100 was about four inches tall.
Not to appear cynical, but there can’t be much of a call for that card. True, there are more people reaching the century mark these days – more than at any time since biblical Days is my guess.
“Happy 959th birthday, Methuselah!”
I seriously doubt that anyone gave him a card marking his 959th birthday. The image in my head of his birthday cake with 959 candles makes me blanch. I couldn’t blow out the candles on my own cake once I hit 30. Methuselah’s cake? No way. Considering that Google says he died just seven days before the start of Noah’s Flood (Noah was his grandson BTW) I think that the flood would have been the only practical way to put out all those candles.
“Eat your cake quickly, the creek is rising.”
The card rack had that card (Only one) for someone hitting 100, but nothing beyond that. I guess they were figuring that after 100 the need really drops off. At 105 you are on your own.
I did read, just the other day, that there is a lady named Violet Brown living in Jamaica who just had her 117th birthday! Sorry, Violet, but no card for you.
While doing my usual minimal research for this blog post I saw a list of the 100 oldest people alive as of earlier today. I haven’t checked back since breakfast. Of the 100 people on that list – 92 of them are women.
While that number may have nothing to do with the need for birthday cards, it does say a lot about the need for life insurance for Hubby and why there are so few toga parties in nursing homes.
Well, Violet, let me be the first to wish you a Happy 118th Birthday, and possibly the last too if things don’t work out.