The Latest From Unalaska, Alaska
Several times over the last couple of years I have posted excerpts from the Official Police Blotter of the metropolis of Unalaska, Alaska – a fishing port far out in the Aleutian Islands.
When I logged in last night to check on the latest doings up north I learned that they weren’t going to be posting the blotter on line “For some time.” Someone up there was upset. That broke my heart. There have been times when I would read the blotter just to cheer up myself after a rough day.
In Unalaska, Alaska, if you are not out on a fishing boat there is not much to do. So – they drink a lot with the expected results. Add in the odd wild animal coming into town and unusual family problems and you can see why the local police are kept busy.
The last published blotter was from December and included the following two items.
12/9/16 – “Caller reported an individual who wanted to fight him. Officers responded and found that the call was a ruse in order to get assistance with obtaining a taxi.”
12/18/16 Burglary – “Caller reported someone broke into his room and took his belongings. He believes the culprit to be his drug dealer to whom he owes money. Investigation continues.” An addendum from later in the day reported that… “Officers found that (the complainant) was counterfeiting U.S. currency.” If he was busy printing funny money why did he still owe his dealer? I’d figure that he’d be as debt free as Dave Ramsey.
I guess that in mid-winter there isn’t much in the way of fishing going on. The local taverns make a profit and the police have to deal with the results. Booze and drugs – just like any other hometown south of the Arctic Circle.
11/21/16 – Suspicious Person/Activity – Officers assisted an individual who feared retaliation from the Bloods, Crips, and Hells Angels. The individual was unable to articulate any rational reason why he would be the target of these groups. The officer searched the surrounding areas and was unable to locate anything to support the caller’s fears.
11/13/16 – Welfare Check – The captain of a vessel called 911 to report he was unable to control his drunken crew. The crew showed no respect toward the captain and showed this disrespect by continued food fights. Officers responded and determined that there had been no crime committed.
I don’t know if that qualifies as a mutiny or not. It sounds more like “Animal House.”
11/17/16 – Theft – Caller reported her ex-boyfriend had stolen her marijuana pipe and a tablet she recently bought from an individual so the individual could purchase drugs. The caller had no evidence to support that her ex had taken the items and she didn’t want to pursue charges, she just wanted her pipe back. Shortly after the officers left, the caller reported her ex had returned her pipe and she had found her tablet under her bed.
I don’t know what I’m going to do now for cheap and tasteless entertainment, but I don’t think I’ll have too much trouble finding a replacement. Oh, well, I suppose I should start scouting about, but no matter what I come up with it could never be as good as the first time.
Maybe I should start watching CNN?