Temporal Dyslexia
WE ARE NOW INTO DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME AND I’M HOPEFUL. Technically speaking I lost an hour of sleep in the shift from Daylight Wasting Time or whatever it’s called. That change took place last Fall and even though I supposedly gained an hour all it did was screw up my life.
For years, decades even, my internal alarm clock woke me up at 7 AM. –Everyday. Each and every work day, Monday through Friday. It was a reliable alarm clock, even though it never did pick up on the trick that Weekends, Holidays, and Vacations didn’t require such diligence. I adjusted.
Everything cruised along as smooth as the sales pitch of a guy selling time-shares in Heaven…until last Fall.
On that Sunday morning my eyes popped open and I said my little “Thank You” to God for
giving me another day. After a yawn, a stretch, and a quick inventory of arms and legs I sensed that something was wrong. I knew, without a doubt, that I had turned back all of the clocks one hour before going to bed, yet… I turned on the TV to see if anything untoward had happened overnight. Invaders from Mars perhaps? Did an earthquake flatten Terre Haute (That’s French for “I’d see a doctor about that if I was you.”)? I’m a sound sleeper so it could have happened. Of course, a flattening of Terre Haute could go unnoticed for days until the Meth dealers began to miss making deliveries.
The TV was no help. It looked like they were broadcasting the usual stuff, but at the wrong time – a sort of Temporal Dyslexia.
By the time I got my socks on it struck me what was wrong. My clock had awakened me at 6 AM – not 7. What the heck was going on?
Somehow in the middle of the whole “Spring Forward, Fall Back” whoop-di-do my internal alarm clock short circuited and woke me earlier than it had since the Nixon Administration.
6 AM? What the heck was I supposed to do at that hour? I’m not a Milk Man out making deliveries – then again no one is any more. Bad example.
My internal alarm clock had gone “cheap plastic, gas station give away, made by convict labor, from the bottom of a cereal box” unreliable on me.
As shocked as I was – time warped even and in need of caffeine, I finished dressing and groped my way to the kitchen. I just sat there.
That’s what I have been doing every morning since that craziness last Fall. Every morning since then my once trustworthy clock has been waking me up at 6 AM. It’s still dark outside and it is too soon to go anywhere. Nothing but gas stations and the police are open that early.
So, for the last five months I’ve been watching the Classic Movie channel until the world wakes 
up. I’ve seen more old movies that I would never call “Classic,” although I have developed an appreciation for the films of Norma Shearer. Talk about your lost causes.
That Daylight Savings Time fiasco uprooted my life in a very annoying and pointless way. I was hoping that the “Spring Forward” we just went through would snap everything back into its proper perspective in the Space-Time Continuum. It didn’t.
Excuse me while I go put on my socks and turn on the TV. I think they’re showing a Norma Shearer movie.
Down the Hall on Your Left 
Nah…..I don’t care for the time changes either. Never have in the past, probably never will. But as you say, “I adjusted”, some years ago when I started disliking it more with age. The Spring Forward seems easier than the Fall Back. Oh..Oh.., almost forgot already – – I start the clock thing on Saturday mornings, trying to get a head-start. Doesn’t appear to be so dramatic on Sunday mornings, going to bed with the new times and getting up with them. Probably doesn’t work for everyone, though.
Thanks for some good reading this morning, John, on the 13th day of the Month.
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As Andy Rooney used to say, ‘how is it fair to take an hour from the morning people and give it to the evening people?’
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But lunch hour is still just that.
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