I Always Cry At Weddings
THE WEATHER IS BEAUTIFUL RIGHT NOW and I am longing for Springtime. You know what they say – “Springtime when a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of Chimichangas.” No, that’s not right, but then again…
Las Vegas, the Disneyland for Adults, is always striving to top itself. It all started out as a dusty desert gas station and has transformed itself into the tangible definition of “Will you look at that!” It is the only town where Elvis, Howard Hughes, and Liberace all felt at home. And they’re all dead.
Now, Las Vegas, the antonym to the Divorce Mill called Reno, has taken another step into the morass of tacky and tasteless. Starting this summer you will be able to get married in the lovely new Wedding Chapel inside the Las Vegas Taco Bell.
For a mere $600, if you are currently single and, I would imagine, unwilling to live in a double-wide mobile home because your family would think you were putting on airs, you can tie the knot on the second floor inside Taco Bells “Flagship Store” in beautiful Las Vegas. Be still my heart…and my digestive tract. It all reminds me of the Sylvester Stallone movie “Demolition Man” wherein Taco Bell is the sole surviving franchise of the “Restaurant Wars.” Eating out? It’s Taco Bell or nothing.
The Taco Bell “Wedding Package” is filled with Swag including a Taco Bell Garter and Bow Tie, a Sauce Packet Bride’s Bouquet, His n’ Her “Just Married” T-Shirts, Champagne Flutes (But they serve no alcohol at T.B.), and to top it all, a Cinnabon Delights Wedding Cake.
The Wedding Cake can be served at the Reception on the second floor of the restaurant. The newlyweds and 15 family and friends who are not in custody get to split a 12-Pack of Tacos. That’ll make them all want to throw some Premium Latin Rice!
If this sounds like what you have been dreaming of it can all be yours. Just walk up to the counter and place your order. Taco Bell’s Wedding Planner will take it from there with just a four hour lead time (I think that is time for some marital counseling.). “The Bell” even provides the Licensed Officiate so it is all legal and such. This is not just some stunt.
While I haven’t seen anything about it I’m sure that Taco Bell might arrange for the wedding pictures, or at least provide the CCTV footage from the security cameras. It might be in Black and White, but it would have a timestamp on it to commemorate the day.
While some people might find this all somewhat unusual I see it as part of a trend among our fast food restaurants. I do recall seeing, within the last week or so, that Brides–to-be can sign onto the Bridal Registry at Domino’s Pizza.
Lord knows what might be coming next. While I have heard the rumblings and I have no proof to back it up – Imagine – “Wedding gowns by Carhartt.”
Take that Vera Wang!