Do It Yourself Justice
Some idiot has been breaking into our friend’s garage as well as smashing car windows. Some things have been stolen, but this harassment is really being done out of sheer meanness. How do we know this? Because this fool has said so. He has left behind notes saying that he is doing these things just because he can. He has said that he can do whatever he wants without fear of the police because he is “Connected” with the Law and that the police will do nothing to stop him.
Nice guy, huh?
Getting no help from the people supported by our tax money the Family has turned to their friends for help.
When I first heard of their call for help my initial thought was, “Heh, heh, heh.”
Does that convey a sense of evil pleasure in the offing?
They posted their frustration on Facebook and their friends stepped forward with offers to help fix the idiot’s wagon. Scrolling about halfway down the list of suggestions was the following comment,
“You have some scary, creative friends.”
As I am typing this the number of ideas is about 50 – some of which are hellishly clever. A number are probably felonies on their own, but also probably effective. “Hollow point bullets work well.”
Some of the ideas are doubtful in their chances for success.
“Call the State Police.” Same thing, different hats.
“Write to the Mayor.” Probably Ditto – with no hat.
“Put up floodlights.” That would just tick off the neighbors who are trying to be helpful. It doesn’t matter how well lit the garage is at 4 AM when no one is there to stop the guy.
As we all know; Actions have consequences. Good actions have good consequences. Bad actions have bad consequences. It is only a matter of time before the intruder learns this the hard way.
Some people have suggested booby traps with exploding grenades. Another person has offered to set up an ambush with his paintball gun set at maximum power and 100 shots per minute. Aside from painting him blue it would also, more than likely, kill him.
The best I could come up with was to suggest that the family buy a Rottweiler, don’t feed it, and just before locking it in the garage – kick it in the groin. The next person to open the garage door will be met with 200 pounds of angry and hungry canine.
That would also result in the problem of what to do with both an antisocial dog and the remains of the burglar.
It may sound like I’m being rather flippant about this problem, but I’m not so sure that I would have been as patient as our friends have been. Personally, I would have raised holy hell with every governmental body in the book and held up every politician to public ridicule, implying their tolerance/complicity in criminal activity.
I’m good at that sort of thing.
If any of you fine folks have any ideas – PLEASE let me know! I will pass them along to our friends who should never have to live with this nonsense.