Do You Smell Something Burning ?
I was getting myself settled into my “writing corner” at St. Arbucks yesterday morning. I had my iced coffee and I opened my little wad of Kleenex containing my morning meds – a little Vitamin D, a Fish Oil capsule the size of my thumb, and an assortment of Blood Pressure meds – a total of eight pills. That is when it happened.
I had just downed my Fish Oil when a complete stranger (I hesitate to call him a “perfect stranger” because he certainly wasn’t.) walked up to me and said, “That’s quite a load of pills. What’s wrong with you?”
This is the second time in the last month or so that someone has done that – just walked up to me and commented about my meds. The first person who did that asked me if I had Cancer. I told her that the pills were to help me control my sudden and violent outbursts that happen when strangers ask me questions. She backed up and beat feet out of the door.
For this most recent inquisitor I told him that my meds were to help prevent my problem with Spontaneous Human Combustion.
“If you smell smoke – Run!”
Why people feel that it is perfectly acceptable to approach a perfect stranger (That’d be me) and ask very personal questions is beyond me. It is not like I was making a Hollywood production of out of taking my meds. I have them wrapped up in a tissue and I’m sitting alone, quietly in a corner. If I had set off a light show with music and fireworks while I popped my pills I might understand the interest in what I was doing, but…
There is nothing special about my meds. They are a mixture of things; a few to work on my blood pressure and a Vitamin supplement or two. Not anything exotic or illegal.
I have to admit that I sometimes walk up to people and try to strike up a conversation about something I’ve noticed about them or our shared circumstances, but I would never go up to someone and comment on their health. Well, maybe I would if I saw something like, “I can’t help but notice you have a spear sticking out of your back. Restless natives?” That might not be out of line. After all, I am a caring individual.
Since this has happened twice in the last few weeks I think I should either prepare myself for more intrusions or develop such a frightening persona that nobody would dare to come near me. I think it’ll have to be the preparation route because I’m not a very scary looking guy. Babies and puppies like me.
I think that I’ll need to come up with some additional quick responses.
“Get away from me before I turn green and have my shirt rip open.”
Nah, it’s been done and my hulk is in no way incredible.
That starts out well, but gets a little wishy-washy near the end.
I’ll have to work on this. If you have any suggestions not involving the use of firearms please don’t hesitate to offer them.