Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2021

It’s Only Fair. 

fairIT IS AUGUST IN THE MIDWEST. That can mean only one thing: State Fairs and Deep Fried Food. OK, I guess that’s two things, but who’s counting?

When the gates to the fairgrounds open some people will head to the livestock exhibits, some will rush to get their seats for the entertainment shows, but thousands will head right to the food midway so they can see what’s new on this year’s menu – and there is always something new.

If there is a way to deep fry it – into the fryer it will go.


 Deep Fried Oreos are old hat by now. The same with Deep Fried Candy Bars and Twinkies. What new tasty item is there for the crowd this year? How about Deep Fried Beer? Or Deep Fried Bubble Gum.

I’ve never been able to get a grasp on how one can truly deep fry a liquid, but when the sign goes up advertising “Deep Fried Pepsi” I just accept it as a new reality – and get in line.

For me I’m more comfortable with the new variations on old themes – such as a Deep Fried Footlong Corn Dog, topped off with a Deep Fried Funnel Cake. I’m also tempted by the Deep Fried Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich, but I’ll leave the Deep Fried Butter for someone with a younger gastro-intestinal tract. After all, I do have to watch my weight.

It’s nice to know that even a Vegan aficionado can chow down at the State Fair with a fine selection of deep fried vegetables available, as well as a  Deep Fried Iced Tea to wash it all down.

Point of Order: Deep Fried Iced Tea? Isn’t that a bit contradictory?

1470495071424“Fried” – “Iced”? I should not question it. Just nod and accept it as a new Factual Black Hole.

I know that if any of my legions of doctors read this they will want to have me flogged.

I think I can get away with this when it comes to my Nutritionist of all people. I have something on him. A couple years ago I caught him at the Annual Strawberry Fest – stuffing his face with Strawberry Shortcake topped with both ice cream and whipped cream. When I greeted him with, “Hi, Doc!” he asked me to keep it quiet that he was a doctor.

Well, I guess I’ve let that particular cat out of the bag.footlong

My recommendation for this late summer is to starve yourself for a day or two beforehand, fill your pockets with those little “wet-naps” thingys, go to your State Fair, and munch your way from the front gate all the way to the last row of porta-pottys. I suppose it is possible you might find something that isn’t deep fried, but face the facts – anyplace that serves Deep Fried Pecan Pie is not going to be frequented by the Dalai Lama. You can probably find Deep Fried Salad.

Just think of it all as therapeutic – the ultimate place for Comfort Foods. You don’t go there every day. Of course, if you tried to go every day it wouldn’t take long before you wouldn’t fit through that front gate.

Health Food it ain’t, but it sure is Happy Food.

“Damn the Cholesterol – Full Speed Ahead!

full speed

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3 thoughts on “It’s Only Fair. 

  1. You name a lot that I did know anyone deep fried! Some of it sounds good, most of it would find me in one of those modern outhouses or behind a tree (if I could find one at a State Fair) upchucking my socks off! Funny, though, John. Interesting, too, all that “funny food” that I presume is all true stuff (????). 🙂


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