But, That’s Just Me.
It’s not often that one can quote Marilyn Monroe.
We have been having a real, honest to God, hot spell here in Terre Haute (That’s French for, “I’m stuck to the leather sofa.”)
This time of year, it’s called Summer, we usually are in the 85° to 88° degree range, with just a quick pop into the 90°s. This year we have had a good, solid week in the mid to upper 90°s, along with the humidity to match. It was so humid that my goldfish was able to keep swimming two feet above his bowl.
It was rather sad watching the TV Weather Bunny. Her long hair was so limp and stringy that she looked like she had just stepped out of the pool.
Of course, people complained – no, not complained – they whined about the heat.
“It’s too hot. Won’t it ever cool down?” (I’ll get back with you in January, Bub.)
“I want to get cool again !” (Sweetheart, you have never been cool.)
About halfway through the hot spell the unthinkable happened to these people – There was a wicked thunderstorm, some power lines got knocked down and…and took their Air Conditioning with them.
The whining turned into suicide notes.
“Oh, no, we’re going to die without our Air Conditioning.”
“I can’t go on like this!”
What a bunch of sissies.
Modern Air Conditioning was invented in 1902 by a chap named Willis Carrier. His friends asked him, “What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?”
Maybe that was some other Willis. I’m not sure.
In any case, up until then Air Conditioning consisted of being cooled by slaves waving large fans with ostrich feathers, ala Cleopatra. Then Willis came along and changed the world. He created a new world of thermostats and plugged sinus cavities. People stopped sweating and began whining and moaning.
I just turned into serious Geezerhood and sweat hasn’t killed me yet, although shivering in the Winter’s cold came close a couple of times. I grew up without AC – in fact I have never lived anywhere with AC until the house we are currently in. My wife, the lovely and South Texas born and bred, Dawn, loves it. I don’t, but that’s just me.
When we are in the car and the outside temperature is above 65°, and Dawn is with me – the Air Conditioning is on. If I am in the car alone – the AC is off and the window is down. But, that’s just me. I guess I’m just not an AC kind of guy. I like the heat. Too hot? Have a cool drink.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that Air Conditioning is evil or that Willis Carrier was the Devil. I’m someone who merely wants to slap people who whine about the heat. Complain all you want, but don’t whine. Chances are that your parents grew up without AC and they survived. You, Mr. Whiner, will as well – unless you’re too close to me and I slap you silly to take your mind off of the heat.
A little sweat never hurt anyone. It is your body’s very own AC system. Let it work for you – and it won’t send you an inflated bill at the end of the month.