Grab Some Pine, Meat!

I WISH THAT WE COULD HAVE PINCH HITTERS IN REAL LIFE. Just like in Baseball. Wouldn’t it be great if, when a situation arises that you know you won’t handle well, you could send in someone else to deal with it?

For Example –

You’ve been working long and hard on a project and you’re just spent, wiped out – then word comes down that you have to make a detailed presentation to your boss’s boss – in 10 minutes.

“Time out! It looks like someone is coming in to pinch hit.”

Oh, yeah, I like this concept.

That big thunderstorm that hit last night has littered your yard with tree limbs, leaves, and trash from God knows where – and it’s up to you to clean it all up.

Time out! It looks like they’re sending in that teenage phenom to pinch hit.”

The kid does the heavy lifting and you pick up the remote and a cold drink instead.

Being a Grownup should have some perks like the occasional pinch hitter. It’s a more adult solution than whining or faking a back injury. There are times when those might be appropriate – Family Gatherings or being asked to help somebody move, but when you can’ throw a tantrum without looking stupid – “Grab some pine, Meat! A pinch hitter is coming in.”

The situation that started me thinking about the “Pinch Hitters in Real Life” idea was the other day when I finally accepted the fact that it was time to take the car in for its 25,000 mile checkup and oil change.

I hate doing that stuff.

I hate having to set up a time (that is NEVER convenient for me), then having to drive there and deal with some grinning guy (or gal) who stands there with a clipboard as I explain again why I am there (I thought I already did that over the phone.).

Then I have to go park my carcass in their “Customer Waiting Lounge” where there is bad coffee and six other people hating all of this as much as I do.

Of course, while I’m sitting there I know – I just know – that the guy (or gal) with the clipboard will come to see me. He (or she) will still be grinning as I am informed that they have discovered an “additional problem” with the car that is going to cost me several million dollars.

“No, I have no idea how that spear got through the hood and damaged the ‘Framistan.’ Squirrels, maybe?”

Its days like that, with totally unpleasant experiences like that, which make me hunger for a pinch hitter.

Like any great idea there is a potential downside to the “Pinch Hitter in Real Life” concept. It’s called “The Wally Pipp Syndrome.”

Willy Pipp, for those of you who are not baseball wonks, was a player for the New York Yankees back in the 1920s. The Wally Pipp Story says that one day during the 1925 season Wally was feeling a bit peaked and asked his Manager for a day off. The Manager agreed and sent in a young player named Lou Gehrig to pinch hit. Gehrig then went on to play in the next 2,130 consecutive games. Wally Pipp never got his job back.

I guess it goes to show that even the best ideas can turn on you and bite you in the on-deck circle.

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