How Hip Can One Man Be?
This morning I find myself in Dearborn, Michigan. My wife, the lovely and semi-vertical somnambulist, Dawn, and I are here for an annual church convention. Because things are kicking off early, convention-wise, we are both up early slouching toward consciousness.
To help us wake up we have turned on the hotel room TV to the local NBC station and the “Today” Show. That helps me wake up because one of the hosts (I’m sorry, I don’t know her name.) like to wear loud print dresses in an effort to look “Perky.” This morning’s dress looks like something you would use to line the shelves in your kitchen.
Well, it worked. My consciousness level went up a few notches and I could actually process their words. That is when my confusion and generational driftwood feeling began to emerge from the low clouds.
It was just after the local news cutaway for stories about house fires and the arrest of another local city official that they came back online with the network. We were greeted by a shot of a crowded area outside of the Today studio. Throngs of young people ranging in age from about 15 to 25 and about 99.9999% female filled the street, waving and screaming. It was an estrogen tsunami just waiting to hit the shoreline.
When they cut back to the grinning faces behind the set piece desk I learned that all of those people were there in anticipation of a short concert. I could get behind that, but judging from the demographic makeup of the crowd, I didn’t think it was going to be Jimmy Buffett.
Matt “Yes my hair is almost gone, but I’m OK with that” Lauer announced the name of the act who was going to be hitting the stage in the 8:30 segment of the show – and it was a duo – two young guys roughly the same age as their salivating audience – and I had to admit to Dawn that I had never, ever, even heard of them. Their names meant nothing to me. They could have walked up to me, introduced themselves, and I would have smiled, nodded, and asked them what school they went to.
Matt “I’m getting really tired of Al Roker” Lauer said the names of the act again along with their picture – two fellows bouncing with joy onstage while dressed like they had just come from dumpster diving at Goodwill. Nope…they made no connection with anybody I had ever seen or heard of.
I have nothing against those two young men. I don’t know them. They don’t know me, so it all sort of evens out in the long run. I doubt if we will ever meet. We run in different circles these days. Correction: They run, I just hobble along.
The one thing about this entire ten seconds of my life that reinforced the fact that I am deeply into Geezerhood was Matt “I wish I had a suit like ‘Whatshername’s dress’ Lauer was when he said, “We have been trying to get these guys on our concert stage for years.”
These guys have been out there and popular “For Years?” How could that be? I don’t think I’ve been Geezering for years. I think I’ve been up on “The Scene” better than most dudes born in the 1940s. After all – I’d been listening to Adele for several years before she exploded on the Charts, and the same with Pink Martini. You don’t know Pink Martini? How unhip are you?
Well, that’s how I started my morning – Matt Lauer, Unknown Performers, and coffee in a paper cup in a hotel lobby. I hope it gets better.