Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2017

Throwback Thursday – May 11, 2015

Throwback Thursday 3

Remember – You Called Me

5/11/2015

Not againWE HAVE PUT our home phone number on those “No-Call” lists for years, but it doesn’t seem to work. We still get several calls a week from organizations begging for money, “Canadian pharmacies” selling pills, and a variety of computer scams both foreign and domestic.  Since they called me I consider them fair game for a little verbal knee to the groin retaliation.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to yank their telephonic chains. Feel free to use any of them or simply use them as inspiration to create your own.

Let The Games Begin!!

“Ring – Ring”

“Hullo”

“Hi, Mr. Kraft, This is Bob from your Canadian pharmacy calling to see if we can refill your prescription. How are you today?”

“Bob!!  I’ve been binge watching “Breaking Bad” all week, Man. Can you get me some of Heisenberg’s Crystal Meth? I need some real bad, Bob? I’m seeing spiders under my skin, Man.”

“What? I’m calling about your prescription refill.”

“Yeah, whatever, Bob. Can you hear that?  Can you get me the Meth, Bob? Hey, Bob – Say my name! Say my name, Bobby!  I haven’t slept for five days. How about you?”

Click.

I haven’t heard from Bob for a while.

 

“Ring – Ring”

“Hullo”

“Good afternoon. I’m Agent Johnson from the IRS Criminal Investigation Unit calling about the back taxes you owe.”

“What a coincidence, me too. I’m Agent Miller and I’m parked in the van that is sitting outside your house right now.”

Click

 

“Ring – Ring”

“Hullo”

“HI, Mr. Kraft, My name is Todd and our records show your computer might be infected with a virus. We can help.”

“Where are you calling from, Todd – what city?”

“I am in Hyderabad.”

“In India? Great! I’m going to be going there on business next month. Do you know of any good restaurants I should visit? I really like Mexican food.”

“Mexican food, sir? Your computer is infected.”

“Yeah, I know. And so’s my sister. What about the weather? Should I bring some warm clothing or will it be hot there next month?”

“It is always warm, but…”

“Todd! Todd! I’ve got an idea. Where do you live? Give me your address. You and I can get together and knock back a few cold ones and grab a burger. What do you say? Todd? Todd? Are you there, Todd?”

Click

Todd never calls me anymore. I thought we really had a moment there.

 

“Ring – Ring”

“Hullo”

“Hello, Mr. Kraft, my name is Officer Todd (Different guy) calling from the Indiana Police Teddy Bears For Kids Drive. How are you today?”

“Hiya, Officer Todd. Do you realize that this is the fifth call I’ve gotten from your organization in the last half hour?”

“What?”

“I think your supervisor is handing out duplicate call lists to all your fellow officers. You’re all calling the same people. You’ll never make any money that way.”

“I’m sorry about that, Mr. Kr…”

“I suggest you all get together and march into your supervisor’s office right away because this is really screwing things up.”

“Thank you. I’ll do that right now – and thanks for the tip.”

Click

That should keep them off the phones and in their boss’s hair for about twenty minutes.

 

Is what I’m doing mean? No.

Is what I’m doing playing with their brains? Yes, if done properly.

Is it in poor taste? Has that ever stopped me before?

Is it fun?

What do you think?

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2 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday – May 11, 2015

  1. I think most of us get the same calls, and more, almost every day. I copied your responses, after LMAO.

    Like

  2. Now whenever my wife hears me say, Canada? ” on the phone she just says, “Just hang up.”

    Like

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