Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2021

We Are Not Amused

2I’M WARNING YOU. I don’t respond well to “April Fools” jokes. I may respond, but not “well,” if you catch my drift.

The urge to pull stupid pranks on people on this date passed when I was about six – about the same time I quit telling “moron” jokes. 1

I think my daily exposure to the Sisters of Divine Providence may have had something to do with it.

Lord knows I’m not against jokes. I write them, I tell them, I’ll even get up in front of a microphone and a roomful of drunks and perform them, but I do not abide “April Fools” jokes.

3Whenever I hear about the “jokes” people pull on the first of April I cringe. Most of these pranks are straight out of “Cap’n Billy’s Whiz-Bang” published in 1921 or from watching Saturday Night Live ever since the original cast left the show.

6

Hundred Years War Beach Party

Having done some obligatory research (I can’t help myself) it seems that the earliest connection of the first day of April with doing stupid pranks is in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (1392 – about the same time Mick Jagger got his first band together). Further research I find to be rather dubious. Example: I do NOT believe that the Hundred Years War was an April Fool’s joke that just got out of hand.

The problem with doing these kind of stunts on a specific day is that it ruins the element of surprise. The surprise is key to it having any real effect.

One “joke” that comes to mind was pulled by a woman I used to work with. She worked hard and was good at her job. Unfortunately her boss was a 24 carat solid gold idiot. He was inept, cruel, rude, crude and socially unacceptable.

Finally, after putting up with this louse of a Boss, she gave notice and came up with a superb parting gift for him.

On her last day she stayed late until it was just her and her Boss in the office. She said her1 goodbyes to him and closed the door to his office. He stayed at his desk trying to look competent.

Before she headed home she took a minute and spread a generous helping of Super Glue around Mr. Boss Man’s door.

We learned the next day that building security had to call in someone to physically cut out the door to let the Big Dummy out of his office.

That had both Style and a Noble Purpose. Something like that is a heck of a lot better than changing the coffee in the Mr. Coffee to Decaf. That’s playing with fire. You do that to the wrong people and they’ll never find your body.

In my research I found a site that had (And I quote) “50 Easy April Fool’s pranks to play on your friends.” As I read through it I found myself magically transported back to the 4th grade and Sister Mary Polycarp (Think Dirty Harry in a nun’s habit). 7It reminded me again why I never liked some kids and how I did enjoy seeing the look on the Good Sister’s face when she whacked the “jokester’s” unfunny butt. She failed to see the humor in hiding all of the chalk from the blackboard tray. (Yes, the “chalkboard” was black, not green or red)

So, there we are – my personal take on this whole business of April Fool’s Day jokes.  Don’t even think of doing any of that nonsense around me because, deep down, I have the spirit of Sister Polycarp inside me – holding a ruler.

8

Single Post Navigation

2 thoughts on “We Are Not Amused

  1. Anonymous on said:

    This is very good, John, well written. Maybe too good and well written. I suppose you realized when you hit “send” or “enter” and you were read, people that never thought about you on April 1st will be all day thinking up something to do to you, or yours, or both? Something that will no doubt take that all day and happen, probably, sometime between 6P and Midnight. If I were you, and yours, I’d keep a sharp lookout anywhere I roam today, and especially this evening. Be careful with whomever you meet, talk to, hug, kiss…….and the list goes on! I wouldn’t want to be wearing your shoes, but without exception….your hat….now and for the next few hours. Who knows when it will happen, but it will. “The Shadow Knows”, Heh! Heh! Heh!

    Like

    • FYI

      To insulate us from all such tomfoolery I have established a perimeter around us filled with heavily sarcastic guards who have witty retorts and are not afraid to use them.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: