Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2021

I Guess I’m Fine

Fine 1EVERY MORNING, RAIN OR SHINE, winter or summer, when I go out for my morning coffee at St. Arbucks, the Barista asks me, “How are you today?” I usually reply with a perfunctory, “Fine,” then slouch away to find a corner to huddle in. There has to be a better way to start my initial human interactions each day.

Maybe I should answer the Barista’s question with something other than just that plain old white bread, “Fine.”

Let me think. Hmmmm…?

“How are you today?”

“Any better and I would be a controlled substance.”

“How are you today?”

“Any better and I would be available by prescription only. (But, if you hurry, I can still be had ‘Over The Counter’)”Fine 2.gif

“How are you today?”

“Any better and I’d be illegal in 37 states – and the District of Columbia.”

“How are you today?”

“The word on the street is that they are going to name me a National Treasure.”

“How are you today?”

“See these lips? Take two and call me in the morning.”

“How are you today?”

“If I told you, you’d blush.”

“How are you today?”fINE 5.gif

“Any better and I’d come with a warning label.”

“How are you today?”

“Any better and they’d name a state after me.”

“How are you today?”

“Any better and they’d put my face on the $100 bill.”

“How are you today?”

“I’m not available in any store. But wait! There’s more!”

Of course, there is the opposite side to that coin. What if I’m not feeling all that great?

“How are you today?”

“I’m feeling lower than a snake’s belly.” (One of my mother’s favorites.)

“How are you today?”

“Any worse and Ebola would be a step up.”

“How are you today?”

“The world is treating me like I just ran over its dog.”

But why dwell on the negative? If things are just fine, then go ahead and say, “Fine.” I’m merely concerned with a banality of language.

When the sun is barely above the horizon (to the best of my knowledge) and my vital signs are no more than detectable, anything above one or two syllables is a challenge. My language skills before coffee can make Tarzan sound like an Oxford Don.fINE 6.gif Try to have a conversation with me when I’m pre-caffeinated and you might think you are watching the opening scene from “2001 – A Space Odyssey.”

However, at the time of day that I’m crawling into St. Arbucks for my coffee “Fine” is either something I have probably forgotten to pay or one of the Three Stooges.Fine 4.gif

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One thought on “I Guess I’m Fine

  1. Some of your answers to, “How are you today?”, I used to contemplate when I was “in the field”. Especially, while working in Southern Illinois. Many down there I used to consider Hillbillys, or Rednecks. But….I loved the country.

    Liked by 1 person

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