I’m Not As Dumb As Some People
MY BRAIN IS UP ON BLOCKS. The weather is dreary – rain with a promise of Arctic temperatures by Sunday, and it is still a month before Baseball Spring Training begins. Everything is gray. Even my Green Tea looks dusty.
About the only thing going on around town this week is that three Jiffy Mart gas stations have been robbed. Two on one evening – ten minutes apart, and the third one got knocked over last night.
The idiots in the first two robberies were caught within minutes. I imagine that last night’s dummy will be rounded up soon. They certainly get nice pictures of them as soon as they come through the door. (I wonder if they ever order some wallet size photos for their friends and family, so they can remember what the fools looked like before going off to prison?)
If any further proof of these clowns lack of gray matter was needed it would be that at least two of them came here from Indianapolis to rob the Jiffy Marts. I guess they figured they could grab the cash, and maybe a week-old rotating hot dog, then jump on I-70 and zip back to Indy in time for a rerun of “Cops.”
In good weather, with the sun shining and light traffic I-70 is a mess. They are always doing repairs that take it down to one lane at some point – mix in icy conditions and Semi drivers stoked on Speed and an unending legion of drunks and you are lucky if you can get 20 miles out of town before you are gridlocked and not going anywhere. Two of our Out of Town Visitors never even got back to the Interstate. They went off the road and got their car hung up on some railroad tracks. How Wile E. Coyote is that?
My guess is that none of these Mensa-test failures did their homework. These Jiffy Marts get robbed so frequently that a few of them have off-duty police in the store 24 hours a day. Even the stores that don’t have resident cops rarely have more cash on hand than your average twelve year old kid. Aside from a surprisingly good selection of snack cakes there’s just not a lot there to warrant wasting the gas to drive here from Indy.
A year or two ago a carload of lobotomy patients from Chicago drove three hours to Terre Haute (That’s French for, “One lane closed ahead.”) to try to hold-up a gun shop owned by a cop. It did not end well for the tour group from Chicago. All they ended up with was a collection of Black and White Police cars all around them as they tried to escape by driving right past the Central Police HQ. Not a good move. I doubt that they are going to be back in Chicago for some time.
Terre Haute is, in a way, very insular. If there is going to be a robbery here, Terre Haute wants the crooks to be from Terre Haute. They don’t cotton to outsiders coming and taking away jobs from local boys and girls. It’s kind of touching in a way. The town takes care of its own.
I’m hoping the weather improves soon.
I miss seeing the sun and not having all of my joints popping like champagne corks every time I stand up. I won’t miss having so many tourists from Indy coming to town. They don’t stay long, usually have a bad attitude and are hopelessly outgunned by the locals.