Let’s Lift A Cold One
I DECIDED, DECADES AGO, that the people we elect to governmental offices, are, generally, unbelievably stupid. Those that aren’t stupid are as crooked as a dog’s hind leg. Fortunately, the stupid outnumber the crooked.
Here in Indiana, including Terre Haute (That’s French for, “I need a drink.”) our elected officials have risen to a new low. For a town that once had the reputation as a House of Ill Repute with a State College, it has some truly silly laws concerning a simple beer.
In Indiana you must be 21 to buy alcoholic beverages. That’s a fairly widespread law around the country. In Indiana you can buy beer, except on Sunday, in bars, gas stations, restaurants and in such places as markets and liquor stores with only one additional catch.
If you want to relax with a cold beer you’d better be at home, in a bar, liquor store or restaurant. That’s it. Every other vendor cannot sell cold beer, only warm beer. Huh?
Indiana is the only state in the Union that regulates the temperature of beer sales.
Bars, restaurants and liquor stores can sell carryout cold beer, but for gas stations, that’s illegal — even though wine and hard cider can be purchased nice and cold.
A trial has started in Federal court asking for this rather strange restriction to be lifted. All I can say is, “Lotsa Luck.”
Supporters of the ban say loosening the law could lead to more underage drinking and drunken driving.
To me that argument, from any angle, makes no sense. As far as “drunken driving” is concerned – there are plenty of other, legally available, beverages a person can buy to get snockered. I’m more concerned with someone driving under the influence of Meth, Pot, or Rock Cocaine, than I am of Bud Lite.
And you will be carded.
A couple of years ago I stopped into a liquor store up the street and they wouldn’t sell me a bag of ice (That’s all I was buying, I swear.) until I could prove that I was 21. One look at me should’ve taken care of that question – however- I wasn’t going to get my bag of ice until I showed the clerk my Driver’s License.
Lord knows that there is an epidemic of underage chilling going on in Indiana.
So, here we are – a Federal courtroom, with a judge and assorted other personnel, are tied up listening to arguments, pro and con, about whether the State of Indiana will collapse into chaos, with lions laying down with the lambs, if I stop at the Mini-Mart and pick up a six pack that is, Heaven forbid, cold!
I’m glad that there are no more important issues facing modern society than the possibility I might have a cold beer. I’d hate to be getting in the way.
The silly thing is – I don’t drink beer. I don’t like beer. I don’t plan on buying any beer. But I can tell you this – if I decide to start drinking beer here in Indiana I think I’ll pick up a Guinness – a nice Irish beer that is always served warm.
UPDATE: The judge said, “Nope, the law stays as it is.”