The Oscar Meyer What?
THERE ARE SOME DAYS WHEN THE WORLD JUST SHORT-SHEETS MY MIND. I don’t take it personally. I know that the rest of humanity’s billions has it happen to each and every one of them too.
Today’s little, “Say What?” happened when I went to the pharmacy and headed back to the car. When I stepped outside I was greeted by what you see in the picture off to the right.
Now, I have seen the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile before. This must be the Sports Model. It appears to be built on the frame of a Mini Cooper. Therefore I feel awkward calling it a true Weinermobile – it is more of a Vienna Sausage Mobile. A Hors d’oeuvre. Ram a toothpick through it.
Me being me, I couldn’t just walk past and go home. I had to stop and ask a few questions of the young lady who was driving the…the…the thing.
All the while I was talking she was in constant motion – setting up a card table and taking boxes out of what used to be the back seat of the…the…the Nibble. When I asked her if this was the Sports Model of the traditional Weinermobile she replied with a face-wide smile and a, “Yes, sir. It is!”
She kept that smile even when I made the “Vienna Sausage Mobile” wisecrack. She kept on moving, setting up her display, but in her eyes I could tell that she had no idea what I was talking about. That’s OK. I’m used to getting that reaction from people. Even people who love me sometimes get that little flicker in the eye that says, “What the…?”
I sent an email back to the amassed Usual Suspects, still wedged into the corner pew at St. Arbucks. This was news that had to be spread. The only response from them was, “Are you kidding me?” You see, even among the fellow “Worsippers” there is the occasional Doubting Geezer. I won’t find out until tomorrow if any of them moved their butts enough to cast their eyes across the parking lot to see for themselves. I wouldn’t place any bets on whether they did or not. It all depends of how deep the discussion about the Colts was – that and whether or not the chiropractor was sitting there.
When I first spotted the Camping Food Mobile outside of Kroger’s my initial thought was that this was some Fraternity stunt from the boys at Indiana State University, because the school’s Homecoming is coming up, either this weekend or next. I could just imagine some Frat Boys, fresh from watching “Animal House” and polishing off a few kegs, might feel the urge to crash the Homecoming with a rolling phallic joke. I wouldn’t put it past them.
Of course the Frat Boys from the Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, just a half-mile up the road would never be able to pull off something like this. A thermo-nuclear, laser guided, stealthy flying drone phallic joke – Yes – but something like the Pig Without The Blanket-Mobile – No. The students at Rose are those people who, if asked for the time, will tell you how to build a clock. They are the future MacGyvers of the world. The ISU Frat Boys are the future beer distributors and Pizza Hut managers of the world. Both are necessary. I suppose.
I’m just hoping that the next time I walk out into the Kroger parking lot I don’t see a giant Tony the Tiger waiting to pounce.