So Much For That Idea
JUST YESTERDAY I SHOWED FIRM RESOLVE to not go out to the new Mega-store that just opened. I said that I would wait a month or so.
I must amend that timeline to read, “I’ll wait five hours or so….”
After having an early supper with a couple of friends, my wife, the lovely and retail courageous, Dawn, said that we should go check it out.
So off we went at about 6:30 PM.
That joint has a very big parking lot and it was pretty darn near full, but we were able to find a Gimp Spot quite close to the main entrance.
Kismet – it was meant to be.
Our main objective was to try to find some Gluten-free bread for this Sunday’s church services. The Meijer website actually shows that they carry Gluten-free bagels (Oy vey). We never found those bagels but we did cop a loaf of bread that will suffice.
The moment we came through the front doors we were greeted by a young lady handing out a beautifully colored floor plan of the whole store. That was not a bad idea considering the place is 195k sq. ft. That is bigger than some countries I do believe. It is certainly larger than any place I’ve been since we visited the Grand Canyon. This place has more restrooms.
We took our time cruising up and down the 7002 aisles. The floor plan/roadmap informed us that they were carrying over 100,000 items in the store. I believe it. The floor plan/et al also informed us that we could even get a haircut while there. I’ll keep that in mind, but I would rather they have a St. Arbucks. After walking thirteen miles through the store I could use some refreshment.
One thing they don’t have that they do across the street at Wal-Mart is a Subway Sandwich shop. I’m glad they don’t have one because the entire Wal-Mart smells like an overripe salami. It makes everything and everyone in the joint smell like somebody’s lunch. So far, at Meijer’s, when I walk out I just smell like I’ve walked to Pittsburgh and back. I’m going to have to go into training if I plan on being a regular visitor.
Of course that would make my Doctor happy. He’s always on my case about getting more exercise and going to Meijer’s to pick up some bagels might give me just the kind of workout he’s talking about. He’d probably tell me to skip the bagels and get some kale. I’m seeing this Doctor in a few weeks and I’ll tell him that I’ve found a great place to walk off those extra pounds – Meijer’s. He’ll tell me, “I’ve been there.”
I still think it’s a good idea, but not everyone can handle the distances involved. I’m wondering if, perhaps, a small railroad train like they have in the park for kiddie rides might be a good idea in the new store.
“All aboard! Next stop – Women’s Shoes!”
The only drawback I can see is that there might be liability issues if some fool gets run over in the bakery while looking for some Gluten-free bagels.
Sometimes you just gotta walk on the wild side, take a risk, hang it all out there, live today as if tomorrow you might be stuck in a K Mart and die of loneliness.
I may go back out to Meijer’s and buy some new walking shoes – I’m gonna need them.
Down the Hall on Your Left 