Next Time I Gnaw My Leg Off
WHENEVER WE FLY TO TEXAS we have to go through either Houston or Dallas. Given the choice we’d rather deal with the airport in Houston – mainly because Dallas is the complete and utter Ground Zero for ineptitude, confusion and “No Way To Run A Railroad.”
That doesn’t mean that everything in Houston is sweetness and light. It is just like most other major airports: a mess.
Last week, on the way home, we had to change planes in Houston with a layover of about 90 minutes – enough time to get something to eat.
For reasons known but to God we ended up at Popeye’s Fried Chicken. I’ve had Popeye’s before and thought it was a well run place with above average food. Apparently the store in Houston never got the message about how to run a fast food restaurant. I won’t go into details other than to say, if you are ever at the Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston, gnaw on your own leg for nourishment before going into Popeye’s Fried Chicken.
OK – maybe we hit them on a bad day, but I seriously doubt it. The innate wrongness there looked to be ingrained.
Not to be outdone by Popeye’s there was another place right across the concourse that looked a bit more upscale, but had its name and slogan on the front and it made me so confused that I would start rolling up my trouser cuffs before I would go there. Would you eat at the “Camden Food Company” after seeing the slogan – “You Don’t Have To Be Good To Eat Good Food.”
I have no idea what that means.
Do they only want “bad” people to eat there?
Are they the caterers for ConAir?
ConAir is the name given to the planes used to ferry convicts to Federal prisons around the country. Rent the movie.
ConAir makes regular flights into Terre Haute (That’s French for “Don’t eat at Popeye’s.”) so I may have to inquire at the Federal Prison who feeds the Newbies on their way to our town.
The Camden Food Company name, which implies that they are from New Jersey, must be run by a collection of “Jersey Shore” rejects. I mean, what kind of a slogan is, “You don’t have to be good to eat good food?” On just about any marketing level it makes no sense. Since the place was busy, busier than Popeye’s, are they implying that their customers aren’t real good people, but at least they’re better than the poor souls stuck over at Popeye’s?
Maybe it’s a New Jersey thing – where the customers are used to being insulted before they even come through the door.
“Hey you, scumbag! Get in here and eat if you know what’s good for you – and your sister too! Bada Bing, Bada Boom!”
In sharp contrast to both Popeye’s and the Lacking in Good Character Food Company was the “Whataburger” fast food restaurant.
If you are in Texas I heartily suggest you stop at “Whataburger.” The food is fresh, well made, really tasty and they will neither gross you out nor make you feel like that if you go there you are not in the top percentile of any positive category.
At the “Whataburger” store the line was out the door and extending down the concourse. They had more people waiting than were getting on the plane to fly to Indianapolis.
At least on the flight home United Airlines didn’t lose our luggage again.