How Can I Forgive Them
I CAME OUT OF THE NOONTIME SERVICES in the Chapel of St. Arbucks (Patron Saint of Jittery People) carrying my iced coffee with me. I found a convenient spot to set up my computer and took that first sip from my 55 gallon drum of delicious iced coffee.
Horror! Oh, the Humanity!
The Barista du Jour had sweetened my drink. Yeeecccchhh.
I am a flexible human being and can accept alternate lifestyles and views – as long as they don’t scare the horses or foul the footpath, but to sweeten my iced coffee? This may call for some sort of retaliatory strike.
Now, I do understand that perhaps I am overreacting a bit. After all, i
t is just a coffee. Strike that! It is coffee! – The nectar of the gods, aqua vitae con crema, the third strand of DNA that separates us from the squirrels and telephone solicitors.
I did take the polluted coffee back to St. Arbucks and they did, without a grumble, replace it with one constructed properly, the way God intended.
“Venti Iced Coffee with Cream – Unsweetened, please.”
Simple, uncomplicated, to the point, yet perfect in every way, is it not?
I’ve had another sip and I have calmed down. My vital signs have returned to the “normal, primate” level and my thoughts of raining down havoc on the young lady have cooled.
Perhaps I should just forgive her. She must be only a novice to have made such an error. I imagine that the Mother Superior at the convent of St. Arbucks will flog her, make her drink Sanka, or something else appropriate to the crime.
See, I can be a gentle and forgiving soul.
I’ve just taken another sip and I’m feeling downright magnanimous and even ready to smile at strangers.
I’m willing to let bygones be bygones, water under the bridge or over the dam – whichever is more appropriate, and return her to my Christmas Card list.
What? You don’t send Christmas Cards to your baristas?
Some people, I tell you.
If you are willing to give a gift to your garbage man who takes away your filthy trash, why wouldn’t you give a simple card to the barista who brings you something wonderful (most of the time)?
I need another sip.
After all, coffee is a critical asset in modern life.
Coffee and chocolate (another positive item in our Chromosomal SWAG Bag) both are semi-originals from the new world. Coffee started in Africa, but once the Dutch started growing it in their American colonies and sending it back to Europe it helped spur further global exploration, commerce, philosophical bungee jumping, and the general development of social gatherings. Fueled by caffeine the great political theorists stayed up later and never stopped talking until new ideas were born and the pot was empty.
Ok, OK – so maybe I shouldn’t have had this second coffee today.
I had planned on blogging about chocolate today, but something got in the way.
Free Opinion on a book Alert!!!
To learn more about the early days of coffee in our culture I heartily recommend “The Coffee Trader” by David Liss.
I’ve added the Amazon link, but you can get it in any number of places. You know how the internet works.
Maybe I should go out for a walk to burn off a little of this caffeine buzz before I scurry back into that St. Arbucks and scarf down everything chocolate.
I don’t want to scare the young lady – much.