No Film At 11, Thank God.
We do admit, however, that these particular items might not be all that relevant to you unless you live in or near the city of Unalaska, Alaska.
According to the latest Census figures the population of the City of Unalaska is 4,768. It can swell during “peak season,” which I assume is fishing season, “bringing an additional to 5 – 6000 people to the island.”
My guess is that these police items are not from “peak season.”
There is not a lot to do in Unalaska, Alaska except drink. As a result the police blotter is a sort of Community Calendar and “Here’s What’s Happening Around Town,” hybrid.
“Be Aware – Be Alert – Be Informed”
That is kind of our Motto du Jour. Tomorrow it may be something else. We’re flexible about such things.
From the Unalaska, Alaska Police Blotter:
“06/08/15 Mon 1129 Suspicious Person/Activity – Vessel captain reported that a balding man with a mustache, wearing a long dress and fishnet stockings, had been walking up and down the roadway near his boat since early this morning and was now inside a pickup, on the dock next to his boat, pleasuring himself. The captain was primarily worried that some of his young and female crew might be offended. Officers contacted the suspect, who admitted to some elements of the complaint, and advised him that he might be better off pursuing his activities in a private location.”
I can’t imagine where, in a town of less than 5000 souls, this fellow purchased his fishnet stockings – unless they were made from genuine fishing nets.
“06/02/15 Tue 1835 Assault – Officers investigated the assault of and threats made against a young man during the course of a dispute over a woman. Officers determined that Adrian Marquez-Chacon had assaulted a rival on three separate occasions earlier in the day, punching him, throwing him to the ground and threatening to remove certain key body parts. Marquez-Chacon was later arrested on two counts Assault IV and one count Assault III.”
“Certain Key Body Parts” – I’ve always assumed that all body parts were “Key.” I know that I’m getting along just fine without my gall bladder, but, even so, since it was part of my original equipment package I have always considered it “Key.”
“06/12/15 Fri 1406 Animal – A patron of the Dutch Harbor Post Office was attacked by a nesting eagle as she wheeled a package cart into the building. The woman was treated at the clinic for several puncture wounds to her scalp and ear.”
“06/12/15 Fri 1550 Public Safety – Postmistress, who advised that four postal patrons had been attacked in the last week, asked for additional signage warning of the threat posed by a pair of nesting national symbols.”
Wait one minute there. Let’s look at this nesting eagle business a little closer.
“A patron of the Dutch Harbor Post Office was attacked by a nesting eagle as she wheeled a package cart…” Are we to assume that the Postal patron was attacked by the eagle while the eagle was wheeling the package cart? That is how it reads and we do know that those majestic birds are hellishly smart and clever. I guess that they may be ambiwingstrous as well, enabling them to pull off both activities simultaneously.
All of these items come from the Police Blotters dated June the second until June twelfth of this year. For a small town, a village really, there is a lot going on. The Police are busy, the taverns are certainly busy. The nesting eagles are busy too. I’m just wondering if the mental health clinic and the AA meetings are busy too.
I’ll check in with the Unalaska Police Blotter on occasion to see how things are progressing there and I will keep you informed. You never know when the guy in the fishnet stockings may strolling about again.