Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2021

4 Out Of 5 Dogs Prefer…

Ammo chewed by dog

IN MY NEVER-ENDING SEARCH for knowledge and interesting current events I check several major news outlets daily: NY Times, The Times of London, and of course, The Baxter Bulletin of Mountain Home, Arkansas.

Who among the Cognoscenti does not?

The latest news from The Baxter Bulletin carries the story of “Benno” – a four year old Belgian Malinois dog.

I’ve seen Benno – he looks like your basic German Shepherd to me, but I guess the Belgians need something to cling to other than just being the off-ramp for every European military escapade in the last 250 years.

Waffles just aren’t enough.

Back to Benno.

It seems that Benno has odder tastes in food than even that bald guy on basic cable.

A week or two ago Benno’s human Mommy saw him upchuck in the kitchen and mixed in with the kibbles and bits were four .308 rounds of live ammunition.  Upon checking with human Daddy, human Mommy learns that Daddy had left a baggie full of ammo on the nightstand next to their bed (I refuse to even speculate).

Being good dog owners they rushed Benno to the Vet who X-rayed him and discovered that there were 17 more live ones in his belly – all aimed toward the back door.

The photo attached is of some of what was removed from Benno. It looks like he found them chewy and crunchy.

For future reference – if this ever happens to your dog DO NOT, under any circumstances, feed him any Polish Kielbasa – unless you want to turn your pooch into a Gatling Gun.

The Vet successfully removed 14 shells from their “locked and loaded” position, but left three others that she felt would unload on their own. Benno ended up vomiting two of them and one came out naturally when the neighbor’s cat walked by.

Benno has always liked some variety in his diet, but I’d say it looks like he has already eaten an Ace Hardware Store and most of a Wal-Mart.

The following is a list of items Benno has eaten, much to the exasperation and displeasure of his human friends:

  • Stuffed animals
  • Rubber Toys
  • Coins
  • 8-by-8-inch square pieces of cloth
  • Styrofoam peanuts
  • Cheese wrappers
  • Rocks
  • Paper

(No proof that he has ever eaten any scissors)

  • Wax paper
  • Aluminum foil
  • Shirts
  • Socks
  • Underwear
  • Bra
  • Tennis shoes
  • Rope
  • Nylon straps
  • Weed eater string
  • Gasoline-soaked lawn mower air filter
  • Blankets
  • Marbles
  • Plastic bag
  • Quilt batting
  • Sewing straight pins
  • Plastic soda bottle
  • Magnets
  • Bottle lids swallowed whole
  • Television remote
  • Loaf of bread (wrapper included)
  • Broken glass
  • Chicken legs (swallowed whole)
  • Nylon hairbrush
  • LEGOs
  • Travel size bottle of lotion
  • Baseboards
  • Drywall (just randomly ate a piece of wall).

Now, add to this list 23 rounds of live ammunition.

Will somebody please buy this dog some Alpo or the NRA Handbook on Gun Safety?

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