Going For The Gold
I WAS AT A LOSS THIS MORNING about what should be the topic of today’s blog posting. Nothing much has happened in my life lately. The dog next door has been quiet. St. Arbucks is under sedation right now, except for “Hawaiian Shirt Happy Hour.”
This called for some in depth analysis of the situation.
My wife (The ever perceptive and keen-eyed Rev. Dawn) and I had a mini brainstorm (more like a small warm front) and came up with the following.
I have been doing this blog since last November. To date it has 110 “followers” who actually allow me to send them an email every day announcing the arrival of a new posting.
I don’t know if that is a good, bad, or indifferent number of followers. I’ve always held to the idea that if someone enjoys it they will hit the “follow” tab. If not – not. But I have noticed that there are blogs here on WordPress with 10,000+ followers. That amazes me. I’m not jealous, just impressed.
So… our fact-finding mission into deepest, darkest WordPress has arrived at the conclusion that those blogs with the most followers offer either Advice or Recipes. Today I will do both.
Hi, Funseekers! I’ve got some great new recipes today!
First: Rice!
Your best bet to have perfect rice every time is to do one of the following.
Go to Aisle Seven at your favorite supermarket; grab a couple of those “90 Second Rice in a Pouch” microwave thingys. In just a minute and a half you can have hot and steamy rice!
If that is too much on your hectic schedule – stop on the way home at the nearest “Lucky Wok” Chinese to-go restaurant and pick up a large cardboard carton of delicious and gummy rice! Super yummy! And you’ve done it all yourself!
There’s a recipe. Now for some Advice.
Work with me on this.
Feeling down? Need a little pick-me-up in your otherwise drop-you-down life? Feeling lower than a snake’s belly or the Nielsen Ratings for “Celebrity Yahtzee?” Is that how things have been going for you lately, Bunky?
Well, get up out of your Naugahide covered Laz-e-Boy recliner, put on some real pants and head out the door! Meet the world head on! You can do it, Sparky!
Hop into your car. You know, the one that is four payments behind and leaking oil like the hairdo on Ricky Martin’s head. Race to your local Kroger, Safeway or Piggly-Wiggly, run to Aisle Seven – and buy some rice! You too can have it all! Pilaf even!
There we are. I have just done the two things that seem to be the biggest draw in Blog Land. Now we will sit back and watch the hordes of new followers arrive like cheesy catalogs at Christmastime.
We noticed that some blogs use provocative and revealing photos to get followers. The last time I tried to post a picture of myself I got a call from the EPA demanding that I file an Environmental Impact Statement. It seems that when I posted it an endangered species of salamander in Louisiana stopped breeding.
There we have it – A blatant and shameless ploy to become one of the Big Dogs on WordPress. If this works I may even try to learn what Pinterest is all about.
Down the Hall on Your Left 