MY WIFE HAS ADVISED ME that I have successfully achieved “Geezerhood.”
When I asked her to define her terms she handed me a mirror. I think that she might be right.
Now that I am in the throes of “Geezerhood” I realize that I need to take better care of myself. I know that because my wife tells me so. My doctor tells me that too. My wife is prettier and is not a 60 year-old man from India who can’t focus on anything for longer than two minutes. One time he started to give me his opinion of American politics. I stopped him cold after 30 seconds by holding up a shiny object. My doctor is one of the “Flying Patel Brothers” as I call them. It seems that every other doctor in Terre Haute is named Patel.
This particular Dr. Patel is really a great doctor, I guess. He tells me that “this” is too high and that “that” is too low. Actually, I have very little left anymore that is where it’s supposed to be.
He has put me on this vitamin regimen. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think that I have been overdoing it with the iron pills a bit. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t lie down without slowly spinning to the North.
Sure, I’m getting older, but it’s not all bad. I’m beginning to realize that there are a lot of benefits to becoming a Geezer.