The Eyes of Texas Were Upon Me

I’M MARRIED TO A SOUTHERN GAL.  She is from Texas – a wonderful woman.

When we first met it almost never got off the ground. We were just talking, me being smooth and virile, and her being an adult. She asked me when my birthday was.  July third I told her. She got real pale and things got real quiet. The temperature in the room dropped 20 degrees.  It turns out that I have the exact same birthday as her ex-husband. How thoughtless of me to pick the same day of the year to be born.  It’s not my fault.

We got past that, and she has finally come to the realization that, fate being what it is, she only marries men born on July third. I’ve told her that if this marriage doesn’t work out her next in line is Tom Cruise. My wife is 5′ 2″. Tom Cruise is about what – 3 feet tall?  I figure I’m safe.

Of course, my wife says that she no longer believes in divorce.  She now believes in mysterious circumstances.